


Mischievous Sweaters

by alexdxnvers



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Campaign 2 (Critical Role), Modern AU, also welcome to this month's installment of "i don't know how titles work oh god", and the holidays, feat. mainly Molly and Caleb. and Frumpkin.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 19:22:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17209466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexdxnvers/pseuds/alexdxnvers
Summary: “That’s a sweater. For cats. A holiday cat sweater.”“Damn right it is.”“I didn’t think you had a cat, Mollymauk.”“I don’t.”“Oh.”“But you know who does have a cat?”“... oh.”





	Mischievous Sweaters

The only one around to catch Molly at the start of this week’s mischievous endeavor is Caduceus, even if he’s not quite well-versed enough in Molly’s quirks yet to catch exactly what he’s up to when they walk by a rack of tiny holiday sweaters and Molly’s eyes widen ever so slightly in delight.

“Look at _this_ ,” Molly says, stopping immediately. He pulls the sweater at the front of the display off of it’s hook, holding it up between him and Caduceus.

Caduceus eyes it, not sure if he’s missing something - he’s quite certain that this might be one of the most unsightly things he’s ever seen in his life. There’s small strands of shining tinsel woven in among the red and green fabric, and something that may or may not be either an ornament or Rudolph on the back of it, and Molly still looks absolutely enraptured with the gaudy mess.

“This is perfect,” he says. “I know exactly what I’m going to do with this.”

“That’s a sweater. For cats. A holiday cat sweater.”

“Damn right it is.”

“I didn’t think you had a cat, Mollymauk.”

“I don’t.”

“Oh.”

“But you know who does have a cat?”

“... _oh._ ”

“Hang on a second,” Mollymauk says, and then he’s running back towards the cash register, tiny cat sweater in hand.

Caduceus wonders if there’s any way to make sure he doesn’t get caught the inevitable fallout of whatever Molly’s planning.

“Please do not murder Caleb’s cat,” Caduceus says when Molly returns. He doesn’t think that’s at all what Molly has planned, but it doesn’t hurt just to be sure.

Molly stops in the process of shoving the teeny sweater into the bottom of the bag, presumably so Caleb won’t see it when they meet up with the others. “Do you really think I’d hurt a cat on purpose?”

“No,” Caduceus says, “but I do think disaster has a habit of showing up not far behind you.”

“Touché.”

“Why did you even follow me in here?” Caduceus asks as they leave the store. The others are clustered around a group of benches opposite the storefront, Jester spotting them and waving almost as soon as they emerge.

“You never know what opportunities there are to be found in a pet store,” Molly says, because _that_ makes sense, and runs off to see what Jester’s found before Caduceus has the chance to ask any more questions.

* * *

They usually meet up for casual meals together at Caleb and Nott’s, since it’s both located in the most convenient place for the gang and because they have the only dining table large enough to fit all of them without people getting constantly prodded in the side by elbows as they eat, but Caleb’s busy sorting and grading his last few classes before the holidays proper kick in, so their get-togethers at theirs have very much decreased in frequency. Nott’s in full protective let-Caleb-finish-his-work-in-peace-or-so-help-me-I-will- _cut_ -you mode, which is enough discouragement for Molly even if he wanted to disturb Caleb while he’s so obviously busy (he doesn’t), but that’s fine.

Molly can wait.

So he tags along with Jester, Fjord and Caduceus when she ropes them into heading over to Caleb and Nott’s the last day the university is in session before break. Caleb’s still on campus somewhere and has a meeting until the late afternoon. Nott’s not home either, though no one’s sure where she’d vanished to, but she’d given Jester her keys before disappearing for the day. Jester’s going on about the new pastry recipes she wants them to help her try out so they can get them out of the way before everyone arrives to help with dinner, but Mollymauk’s thinking more about the holiday sweater shoved into his bag right before he left to meet up with the others than any of the baking plans Jester’s excitedly talking about.

He hangs out in the kitchen with others, stealing bits of anything that looks sweet and stirring whatever Jester or Caduceus tells him to, until Yasha and Beau turn up with Nott in tow.

“Do we get to know where you went now?” Jester asks before Nott’s even had the chance to step all the way into the room. Nott zips her jacket up around the bag she’d been holding, darting right back out of the room again.

“I’ll be back in a second!” she yells without answering the question. They listen to her footsteps pounding down the hall to her bedroom, and then what sounds like a drawer slamming shut.

“Present shopping, maybe?” Fjord says into the silence.

“Ooooh, do you think she got something for me?”

“Don’t try to take a peek, Jester,” Fjord says. “There’s not that many days left until you’d find out anyways.”

Jester pouts for a moment, then abandons the bowl she’d been mixing to run up to greet Beau and Yasha with a hug. “Did you guys get me anything?”

“We literally came from the gym-”

Molly takes the chance to slip out of the kitchen area while the others are distracted. He takes a look around the little living area by the front door, bending over to look under the couch for Frumpkin. He isn’t there, and by the time Molly stands up again and gets the sweater out of his bag to stuff in his back pocket, Nott’s coming out of the hall where the rooms are.

“Hey, have you seen Frumpkin since you got back?” Molly asks.

Nott pauses, looking at Molly a little suspiciously. “Why?”

“Just haven’t seen him in the time we’ve been here, I’d have thought that he would have wandered over to see what everyone’s been doing by now.”

Nott’s still looking at him with her eyes narrowed slightly. “Since when have you cared about Caleb’s cat?”

“Can’t I be curious?”

“Nott! Do you want some of this batter before we put egg in it?”

Nott’s head whips back around towards the kitchen, and she yells, “Be there in a second!” before turning back to Molly. “I don’t know, he’s probably hiding out in Caleb’s room or something.”

Nott scampers off the kitchen as Molly turns to make his way down the hall. He leans into the bathroom as he passes by. There’s no cat in there either. Caleb’s bedroom door is slightly ajar when Molly gets there. He presses his hand against it, letting it swing open.

Frumpkin’s sitting next to Caleb’s bed, pawing at something hidden beneath the sheets draping to the floor, but his head rotates around to look at Molly standing in the doorway. Molly tilts his head. The cat follows him.

“Hey, Frumpkin,” Molly says quietly. He steps into the doorway and kneels, reaching out a hand. “Hey, buddy, I’ve got something for you.”

Frumpkin has shown both an equal amount of distaste and fondness when interacting with Molly in the past. Molly has no clue what the cat feels about him today, but after a few moments of Molly awkwardly holding out his hand, not really wanting to step into Caleb’s room while he’s still out, Frumpkin gets up and slowly gets up and pads across the room towards the door and Molly.

Molly grins as Frumpkin rubs his head along his fingers, scratching idly between Frumpkin’s ears and then sitting down fully to let the cat crawl into his lap. He continues petting down Frumpkin’s back with one hand as he tugs the sweater out from his back pocket with the other.

“I’ve got a little something I want to try,” Molly says. “We can see what Caleb thinks about it when he gets back, yeah?”

Frumpkin tilts his head again, looking up at Molly curiously. He shrinks back slightly as Molly pulls the sweater over his head, but stays put as it settles around his neck.

“See? You’re looking very festive now,” Molly laughs. “How about we get those little paws into these sleeves and we can go show-”

Frumpkin takes off.

Molly yelps as the cat presses down his leg and darts up in the space between his elbow and side, landing on the floor of the hallway behind him and sprinting away. Molly almost faceplants into the floor as he tries to turn and get up at the same time, catching himself with a swear and then taking off down the hall after Frumpkin.

When Molly bursts into the living room, Frumpkin’s leaping onto the arm of the couch, almost tripping on one of the dangling sleeves of the sweater around his neck. Molly tries approaching slowly, but Frumpkin darts away the second he gets near. Molly scoots through the narrow space between the couch and coffee table, trying to catch Frumpkin before he jumps off the couch, but doesn’t quite make it.

“Damn it, if you stop I’ll take it off,” Molly hisses.

“Molly! What are you doing?”

“Nothing, Jester,” Molly shouts back. “Just tripped over the table, I’m fine!”

“Do you want to come back and help out then?” Fjord’s voice now, sounding vaguely irritated.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a second, don’t worry about it!”

Frumpkin darts past Caleb’s old-fashioned coat rack. It tips, and Molly just about slips on the edge of a carpet in his rush to push it back up before it falls and puts a dent in Caleb and Nott’s floor. When Molly turns again, Frumpkin’s tail is whipping around the corner back down the hallway again.

_Has this fucking cat always been this fast?_

* * *

The first thing Caleb notices when he opens the front door is that the couch and coffee table are not angled the same way they were this morning. Nott runs around a lot when she’s excited, though, so it’s not enough to give him pause. When he reaches out with the coat he’d shrugged off coming up the stairs and finds himself almost dropping it to the floor when the rack is not quite where it usually is when he hangs up his coat by habit… that’s enough to draw his attention.

Caleb looks down at the bottom of the rack, gently nudging it back into place before hanging up his coat. He pushes the coffee table and then the couch back where they should be. Then he wanders into the kitchen.

“Caleb!” Nott shouts as he enters. She waves enthusiastically from where she’s perched on the edge of the kitchen counter, watching Jester watch their assorted pastries in the oven. “How was the meeting?”

“Terrible,” Caleb mumbles. He lets Nott scoot off the counter to come up and hug his side, scanning the room as she does so. “Did Mollymauk decide not to come today?”

“No, he’s here!” Jester says cheerfully.

“He was making a ruckus in your sitting room just a few minutes ago,” Fjord says.

Caleb looks over at Yasha, who meets his gaze and just offers him a tiny shrug.

“I’ll be back, I’m going to go drop my bag in my room,” Caleb says, detaching himself from Nott. As he leaves, Caleb’s pretty sure he hears Caduceus suddenly mutter, “ _oh_ ” behind him.

Caleb leaves his bag on his desk, and shrugs on a new sweater to replace the coat he’d taken off. He shuts his bedroom door behind him, and reaches out to shut the bathroom door too as he walks by until he hears a soft swear and a loud mewling.

Caleb pushes the door all the way open.

Mollymauk looks up at him instantly, guilt flashing across his face briefly before it’s replaced with a charming smile. “Hey, Caleb! I was wondering when you’d turn up.”

Frumpkin’s squirming in Molly’s arms, a mess of red and green around his head.

Molly tries for another smile as Caleb rests his face in his hand.

“Molly. Mollymauk. What are you doing to my cat?”

“... trying to share the festive mood?”

Frumpkin darts away from Molly, letting Caleb carefully pick him up and pull the sweater the rest of the way off. Frumpkin tucks his head into the crook of Caleb’s elbow and starts purring immediately, and Caleb holds the sweater up with his other hand to get a better look at it.

“Couldn’t you have least gotten one that actually looked good?” Caleb asks after a few moments of silence. Molly shrugs as he gets up, and it’s now that Caleb notices the claw scratches up Molly’s arms.

“Yeah, he wasn’t too happy about me trying to take it off,” Molly says, after following Caleb’s concerned gaze and looking down at himself.

“I’d ask what made you thought any of this was a good idea-”

“-this was a _marvelous_ idea, I don’t know what you mean-”

“-but I know how I’ll feel about the answer you give me so I’m not going to. Let’s get those cleaned up.”

When Caleb tells the others what happened while pushing Mollymauk down into a chair in the kitchen, Jester starts laughing so hard that she immediately becomes of no use to anyone in the immediate situation. Nott hands off their first-aid kit to Caduceus instead, and stares daggers at Mollymauk for the entire time it takes Caduceus to clean up the scratches and wrap bandages up his arms.

After dinner, while everyone’s cleaning up, Caleb steps out for a moment to join Frumpkin in his room. The cat’s settled down on top of the sweater and Caleb’s sheets, but let’s Caleb tug the sweater out from under him without complaint.

“It’s just me. Let’s see how this looks, ja?”

With Caleb, Frumpkin doesn’t seem to mind the fabric being tugged over his head, and settles his head on Caleb’s thigh as soon as it’s on, purring again.

“Not that bad after all,” Caleb says with a quiet laugh, scratching under Frumpkin’s chin. “Happy holidays, Frumpkin. Now, let’s get this back off again before Molly sees.”

* * *

Mollymauk’s pretty sure that Caleb was joking about banning him from their big holiday night the next week for agitating Frumpkin, but Nott leaves Molly standing in the hallway, locked out of the apartment, for ten minutes after he knocks anyways.

  


**Author's Note:**

> ... pacing? What pacing? I've never heard of narrative pacing in my life. 
> 
> Anyways, this fic definitely doesn't condone trying to force pets into sweaters, especially if they're not yours, if whatever animal you have in your life looks uncomfortable being put into pet sweaters then uh maybe don't, but in other news, this fic was very much inspired by:  
> \- the friends in my d&d party who came over to mess up cookies in my dorm's oven right before winter break when we were supposed to be making dinner to bring to our last game of the year  
> \- the videos I got of my uncle trying to put a sweater on my grandmother's cat this Christmas, because oh boy if my grandmother's looks could kill through the phone... 
> 
> I meant to do more winter/holiday fics since that's normally all I write at the end of the year, but I had actual writing deadlines this month which is amazing but also comes at the cost of not having time for personal fic projects so this might be the only winter fic that goes up this year? I have two different CR long-fics I've been sitting on since before projects with deadlines came about that I want to really work in this window with no other writing commitments, but if anyone feels so inclined to send me winter/holiday themed prompts for Vox Machina or the Mighty Nein over at elvishwritings on tumblr, then I am absolutely down for writing more cold weather shenanigans :)
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hoped you enjoyed this lil fic drabble and that you have a good last few days of 2018!!!!


End file.
